I’ve been told that the stuff isn’t actually plastic, but rather clear cellulose, and can in a pinch be used as a wrap to roll a joint. Yes clear cellulose papers do exist, but you think I’d actually trust smoking cheese wrapping stuff? Hell no!
Regardless, after hearing that years ago, I did try burning a cheese wrap after that, and much to my surprise the wrap didn’t melt like plastic, it burned like paper.
I just got done trying it again, with a different brand of cheese, and yeah this one burned and melted like plastic. ☹️
I guess different cheese makers use different wrapping material, but either way, if someone suggests rolling a joint in cheese wrap, just say NO!
You are a modern day Magellan, never change
You can’t just drop a thesis like that without telling us what the good brand was my guy :(
LMFAO! I hear ya there!
Sorry to say that I don’t remember what brand of cheese it was the first time I tried that years ago, but I can tell you what brand not to use as I just basically confirmed they use plastic wrap, Great Value.
I never did try rolling or smoking a joint with either test though. Being naturally skeptical about the random advice, I only tested just burning the wrap by itself. Weed costs too much to waste on experiments ya know haha!
I can tell you what brand not to use as I just basically confirmed they use plastic wrap, Great Value
Wal-Mart’s store brand being shit doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.
Of course it was Walmart’s store brand
Indeed, what else should we expect? ☹️
I can help you on that.
The brand is Trip. It works alright (both for rolling and smoking), but there are better paper (e.g. Raw).
I’d consider it as mostly gimmick. Again, not a bad product overall, tho.
Challenge accepted
Upvoted for username haha! Good luck, test first…
I have clear rolling papers and they’re a cool gimmick but not at all practical for everyday use. Harder to roll and doesn’t stick to itself as well.
They also don’t seem to burn nearly as well. IME they always needed to be relit multiple times.
That just might depend on the brand and what sort of glue they used, if any. I dunno, the handful of times I smoked clear doobies with my friends, they held together just fine. 🤷♂️
I wonder if there’s any correlation with cheese wrapper joints and strains named cheese.
I dunno how things are today, but not too many years ago if you searched Google Images for blue cheese, some of the images it would bring up would actually be nuggets of weed haha!
I’ve been told that the stuff isn’t actually plastic,
Some even claim this stuff is cheese
I knew it wasn’t cheese! Cellulose!
notin America
I got a milkshake a while back, in a plastic container, with a plastic lid, for some reason it also came with a plastic spoon, and a paper straw, since they are cutting down on plastics…
>go to mcdonald’s
>order hot cakes and a large orange juice
>receive hot cakes in plastic container, with six individually plastic wrapped teaspoons of butter and a plastic tub of high fructose corn syrup and a large plastic cup of orange juice
>throw away plastic straw
>pull out reusable metal straw
>I’m saving the environment one breakfast at a time
Ha ha in France they just stopped giving you straws. The paper cup for the drinks just said on it something like "To drink, remove lid and lift cup. You’re not an infant " lol
Now they have those reusable cups and fry holders, which are suspiciously smaller than the paper ones
Only thing I noticed that was single use plastic was the little tub of sauce
"To drink, remove lid and lift cup. You’re not an infant "
Based as fuck.
That little tub of sauce could be made of waxy paper entirely, albeit probably at the cost of a lower shelf life.
And then you find out that the lid itself is made of plastic
What about people woth very limited arm use?
It’s almost as if those people would know to take a straw everywhere, seeing as they’ve lived with the condition
You’re not helping progress with constantly saying “what about…?”
do they though. I don’t think I have seen them carry their own. After all if every place as a straw then you dont need your own. But that is an easy fix for them.
What about the people who can’t eat or drink and need nutrients pumped into their body intravenously?
We cannot let the few hold back the many
Yeah only thing is those cups are like that because people have cup holders in their car or walking with open hot drinks. So calling them an infant just cuz they don’t want to sue their company burns is a bit short sighted. Weirdly bad marketing that they should overlook that as one of the most common demographic getting a packed breakfast in the morning
A) It’s for cold drinks
B) If you drink coffee with a straw you should be sent to an island somewhere with the people who drive tiny-penis trucks
Isn’t that the island we’re on already?
Don’t forget the gallon of gas you burned in the drive thru 👍
Ah the, “I’ll have a diet coke with this Big Mag, Cheesecake bites, large French Fries” mindset.
Here, the paper straws were individually packed in plastic foil.
WHAT?!???!?
It’s probably a lie, people do that a lot
i’ve seen that happen from time to time on prepackaged coffee drinks and juice boxes and the like.
Yes but that was bio-degradable plastic. It will only last 10,000 years in a landfill instead of eternity.
I know this probably isn’t the best place, but I really hate the way paper straws feel, but I also hate being handed a any straw when I can just drink straight from the cup anyway.
It’s why the EU voted in regulations today against single use packaging despite howls of protest from the fast food industry.
really? cool!
In my community, most of the lids are biodegradable. Still not great (require an industrial composter), but at least if it is left out, it does breakdown somewhat faster than “never”
I mean there was some joke libertarian candidate that literally ran under the slogan “Make America Grate Again” claiming that he would outlaw sliced and shredded cheeses to make America embrace its graters and its grating roots.
How is clamping down on the freedom companies have to make plastic cheese, and the freedom for people to buy it… Libertarian?
Isn’t that pretty authoritarian?
No no, you see, it’s because libertarians are dumb
They are tho
I bought a rotary grater about two years ago thanks to a post on Reddit and I rarely ever buy sliced cheese anymore, if I do it’s the kind that comes in one pack with parchment paper in between the slices.
If they didn’t they would all melt together cause that stuff isn’t real cheese.
when the contents have as much plastic as the packaging
Looking at the thumbnail, I assumed this was going to be a joke about the cheese being essentially plastic
They could use parchment paper I think.
Was just about to say this. A decent amount of brands do use paper instead of plastic to separate individual slices, but I’ve only seen it with real cheese. Never with American cheese
Also before anyone says something, no, American cheese is not real cheese. In fact, it contains less than 50% cheese. It is officially considered a “pasteurized processed American cheese food”.
Also it’s only good for grilled cheese, bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, or melting onto leftover spaghetti. I will die on this hill.
Ingredients for Kraft American cheese slices:
CHEDDAR CHEESE (CULTURED MILK, SALT, ENZYMES), SKIM MILK, MILKFAT, MILK, MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, WHEY, CALCIUM PHOSPHATE, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, SALT, LACTIC ACID, OLEORESIN PAPRIKA (COLOR), NATAMYCIN (A NATURAL MOLD INHIBITOR), ENZYMES, CHEESE CULTURE, ANNATTO (COLOR).
It’s not health food, but if it’s less than 50% cheese it’s because of the milk/milk products added into it to make it meltier. The only thing making up more than 2% of it that isn’t cheese or a milk product is sodium and calcium phosphate. Different cheeses for different jobs.
There are plenty of melting cheese that are 100% cheese.
I’m just not that bothered about adding milk and stuff made of milk into cheese. 🤷♂️
melting onto leftover spaghetti
This one caught me off guard, but I’ll admit I’m intrigued.
It’s divine. Just fill a bowl with spaghet, tear one or two slices into strips and lay them over the top, nuke it for about a minute, mix it all up, do another 30 seconds, eat, cum repeatedly
Hold on what was that you mumbled at the end?
Ain’t no mumbling, nor did I stutter
Eat it, and CUM
Me too but not enough to try it.
Your loss
Not sure if parchment paper would work for this particular form of fake cheese because its literally a liquid that they pour into the plastic. It solidifies in the fridge.
Also it’s only good for grilled cheese, bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, or melting onto leftover spaghetti. I will die on this hill.
But it’s the best option for all of these and thus it will always be in my fridge. Except the spaghetti… That’s weird but I’m curious.
And before y’all get all shitty, I’m not talking about your whatever melts. That’s not a grilled cheese. A grilled cheese has exactly 3 ingredients: bread, butter, cheese. That’s it. And that cheese is best when it’s Kraft singles. Fight me.
A grilled cheese consists of only these following items. Cheese. Bread with spread (usually butter). This entire subreddit consist of “melts”. Almost every “grilled cheese” sandwich i see on here has other items added to it. The fact that this subreddit is called “grilledcheese” is nothing short of utter blasphemy. Let me start out by saying I have nothing against melts, I just hate their association with sandwiches that are not grilled cheeses. Adding cheese to your tuna sandwich? It’s called a Tuna melt. Totally different. Want to add bacon and some pretentious bread crumbs with spinach? I don’t know what the hell you’d call that but it’s not a grilled cheese. I would be more than willing to wager I’ve eaten more grilled cheeses in my 21 years than any of you had in your entire lives. I have one almost everyday and sometimes more than just one sandwich. Want to personalize your grilled cheese? Use a mix of different cheeses or use sourdough or french bread. But if you want to add some pulled pork and take a picture of it, make your own subreddit entitled “melts” because that is not a fucking grilled cheese. I’m not a religious man nor am I anything close to a culinary expert. But as a bland white mid-western male I am honestly the most passionate person when it comes to grilled cheese and mac & cheese. All of you foodies stay the hell away from our grilled cheeses and stop associating your sandwich melts with them. Yet again, it is utter blasphemy and it rocks me to the core of my pale being. Shit, I stopped lurking after 3 years and made this account for the sole purpose of posting this. I’ve seen post after post of peoples “grilled cheeses” all over reddit and it’s been driving me insane. The moment i saw this subreddit this morning I finally snapped. Hell, I may even start my own subreddit just because I know this one exists now. You god damn heretics. Respect the grilled cheese and stop changing it into whatever you like and love it for it what it is. Or make your damn melt sandwich and call it for what it is. A melt.
Nah, a good deli-style American will be better than Kraft Singles. Try Kraft Deli Deluxe (or any other brand).
It’s lower milk content so it’s more solid, not individually wrapped but is individually sliced. It’s what restaurants like Culver’s use.
I’ll have to try it sometime
Though unless the flavor profile is considerably different (and better), I’d still personally say that cheddar is the ultimate cheese
Especially sharp cheddar. I love eating slices of it with honey 😋
Love me some sharp cheddar.
Wrong. A grilled cheese only has cheese…
100% agree
On the spaghet topic, trust me, you will be glad you tried it. I’ve never done it with freshly made spaghetti, cause that’s amazing on its own, but if you’ve got leftovers just put it in a bowl, tear one or two slices into strips and put them on top, nuke it for a minute or so, mix it all up, eat, and cum
Hamburgers just arent the same without that nasty over processed American “cheese” only place I can find it around me in Australia is at Costco so I have to buy like 2.1Kg of it at a time.
I get what you’re saying, but I still prefer cheddar or maybe Swiss depending on the toppings. Tastes more “real”
I would go so far as to argue it’s only good on grilled cheeses. Maybe the occasional American style cheeseburger. Other than that Cheddar is superior.
And honestly I prefer swiss for my burgers I just never have it on hand.
You gotta try it on spaghet. It’s actually amazing
Get a good deli-style American and it might change your mind. But yeah, the Kraft Singles are awful.
Kraft singles != American cheese. What you quoted even makes that distinction clear
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I’m really intriged with the spaghetti part… Do you reckon it would still work on just cooked pasta? I don’t have a microwave.
Definitely! I just never bother cause I like spaghetti as-is as well, and I always have leftovers. Definitely a must-have on reheated spaghetti for me, tho
Well I might try it sometime then lol
It’s also good on “classic” cheeseburgers, but if you’re doing anything special with your burger, get a different cheese.
I can sometimes enjoy it on a smash burger mellted into the cracks
Personally I prefer cheddar or swiss on real burgers. But if it’s a fast food burger then yeah, absolutely
Also it’s only good for grilled cheese, bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, or melting onto leftover spaghetti. I will die on this hill.
You have my sword for this.
It’s my favourite for burgers. It lasts way longer without going bad (I find real cheese slices will go moldy before I can use them all), tastes better to me, and is meltier. The meltiness is really nice!
I’ve seen paper used to separate thin cured pork slices
Might dry out
Personally, I like cheese but I always found plastic sliced cheese just fucking gross. Melted cheese in plastic blech
Try a good deli-style American. So much better than Kraft Singles. Much lower milk content, so it’s more solid. Not individually wrapped, but individually sliced. Higher cheddar and Colby content, so its flavor is better. Still melts beautifully. Best burger cheese out there, IMO.
How could it be lower milk content? Cheese is 99.9% milk by definition, especially actual cheese (not sure what’s in this Kraft stuff). The only additive is supposed to be the starter culture.
American cheese is processed. Depending on the amount of milk added during that processing, you get a product with a more or less firm consistency.
Singles are liquid when they’re poured into the wrap, and then they solidify. In this they end up being far less like traditional cheese.
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It’s plastic isn’t it?
I’m never exposed my child to this stuff, she’s been raised with mild cheddar slices or better, I guess they use it in fast food places though.
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We just have them separated by baking paper here.
Kraft does sell non-singles sliced american cheese. Nothing between the slices and it doesn’t stick together. Also doesn’t have that plasticy taste.
You couldn’t be more wrong 😐
which is super ironic because this trash doesn’t melt
American cheese is specifically designed to melt well, I don’t know what you’re talking about
must be a uniquely American phenomenon because I’ve never met an individually wrapped slice of cheese that doesn’t simply blacken under a broiler like you forgot to remove the wrapper or something.
In what general area do you live? I can confirm that these American “cheese” products are designed to melt.
Hell, even real mild cheddar from a legit block of cheese melts…
Most cheese does.
Why are you putting American cheese under a broiler? It’s supposed to melt, not bubble up and brown
You must really be doing something wrong if your cheese doesn’t mostly melt, because this post of mine from like last week actually came from a block of real mild cheddar…
That’s because all you absolute fucking babies are still crying they took your plastic straw away.
The reason we don’t have sensible climate conversations leading to real action is because the SLIGHTEST thing anyone suggests and you fucking scream your toddler heads off for years!
Many modern humans are a bunch of entitled little shits and it applies across the political spectrum.
I strongly believe every person needs to experience serious adversity at some point - homelessness, joblessness, food insecurity, chronic health issues, or chronic pain. I have had most of the above (and still have some, yay chronic health issues) and that made me a better person by giving me perspective. I don’t give a shit about losing plastic straws; on the contrary, I welcome their loss, they’re stupid and polluting. I can walk and I have a warm place to sleep at night, losses like plastic straws seem as trivial as they truly are.
All the best people I know went through some shit or are empathetic enough to understand what it’s like. The worst people I know either were protected from adversity, lack the empathy to learn from others, or went through an adverse situation but didn’t have the tools to properly work through it so it made them worse.
Uh… Yeah… I’ve experienced homelessness throughout my teenage years and… Uh… It really makes the things “normal” people complain about or stress over seem small and insignificant.
Same here and seriously. It’s not that I disagree that whatever is bothering them is bothersome, it’s usually just something I wouldn’t notice.
Like people cutting me off or speeding on the freeway. I really couldn’t care less as long as they’re not putting me directly in danger. I really just don’t notice but it drives my wife nuts. I’m just happy I’m only driving my car, not living in it.
Ask me how I know we’re not gonna reach our climate change reduction goals.
We’ll reach them once everyone dies in the hunger wars of 2088
For folks worried about plastic straws and bags and simple little shit, remind them what Lego is made of and how much of that is out there with the rest of the trash…
Don’t get me wrong, I love Lego, but still in the long run it’s just more of the plastic pollution problem. Of course this isn’t the only place they end up, but check this…
LEGO isn’t made to be thrown out. Plastic straws and bags are.
Just because it isn’t meant to be thrown out, doesn’t mean squat when people and families get evicted or homes demolished from disasters or whatever. We don’t live in an ideal world, shit happens, and when it does, your stuff gets thrown in the dumpsters and landfills, if not end up elsewhere.
Plastic is plastic. Humans lived for ages without the stuff, so plastic is not a necessity of life. Eventually it’s all gonna become pollution…
Neither is the Internet, computers, or smartphones, yet here you are…
I’ve almost never purchased electronics, I almost exclusively salvage flood damaged electronics and otherwise damaged electronics from the side of the road or dumpsters. Fuck off, I actually do my part. Do you?
Yet you still can’t live without it.
Yeah I do agree people are not willing to have these conversations, we live incredibly wasteful lives for no reason at all - yeah Lego is a fun toy but we don’t need it to last for ten thousand years, like let’s keep that stuff for special things and if we’re making models then keep some logs asside, cut them into the size pieces you want and use a knife or chissel to shape them.
Or depending on your local geology dig a hole, wash out the clay by swapping between buckets then let it dry until it’s the desired consistency and shape it into what you want to make - when you’re done you can just crumble it up and use it again, or if you really love it then you can fire it and keep it as long as you like, when you smash it up then it’ll all go back to soil.
But no people need to buy Disney licences Lego kits which they’ll probably keep in the box anyway because they don’t even want to play with them that just want to have them for a while then leave them in the soil for the next few millennia.
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Dang, sorry for not being 100% on board with something that’ll make things worse for some disabled people while having an immeasurable impact on the climate
Remember when fruit stickers used to be paper and biodegradable? Now they’re all fucking plastic because they need their logo to be shinier I guess.
Meh, I hate stickers.
Stickers on fruit would make me pick another variety.
Where I live the only fruits that don’t have stickers are tomatoes.
Bro even tomatoes have stickers where I am. I think pineapple is the only thing they haven’t managed to slap a sticker on at this point.
That’s sad. They have to pay to add useless stickers to all their produce. And that just ends up annoying everyone.
At least the stickers have the PLU on them, helps for self-checkout. So mostly useless
I remember eating one of those biodegradable stickers once, it felt mildly uncomfortable.
Or just don’t buy American cheese because it’s gross and fake.
American cheese is the best cheese for a cheeseburger because it melts without splitting.
I always go for sharp cheddar instead which I feel is close if not better… or Bleu cheese, although that definitely is crumbly.
Just like the cheeseburger your mother could barely afford.
I still think its odd that people call that american cheese. Like, do people in the USA really want their name attached to that stuff?
Forreal haha. I just call them Kraft Singles bc I refuse to acknowledge it as cheese.
I just call it processed cheese.
I have come full circle. I loved processed American cheese food (pacf) when I was a kid because I was a kid. Then I got into fancy sliced cheeses like cheddar and Gouda. But they don’t melt as nicely! So now back to pacf for burgers and melts because it is the best ingredient for that job.
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The name brand in the US is Kraft Singles, but at least here that type of orange cheese is just referred to as American regardless of brand
I’ve never heard of Chester cheese. There’s Cheshire cheese, but that’s quite crumbly and wouldn’t hold up to being packaged like this. You might also be thinking of cheddar. A genuine cheddar would be too brittle, but in modern marketing, cheddar is often shorthand for any homogenous, yellow cheese. So this stuff might be described as cheddar on the packet.
I think this stuff is more of a cheese-flavoured sauce, that they inject into the bags and leave to set. It’s more an invention of the convenience food industry, than any culinary tradition.
The British don’t know anything about food either.
It’s delicious and who cares if something is real or not?
Its also cheap, tho.
Here’s the weird thing about that:
Sargento Colby Jack at Walmart, 34.7 cents/ounce
Kraft Singles at 31.1 cents/ounce
That’s an egregious example because you can find better sliced cheese (store brand) for much cheaper than Sargento even, but still disturbing to see how expensive those singles really are.
Worth every cent
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Things can be related to more than one thing at a time. Banning single use plastics will be cheaper for corporations that offer them for free but it’s also better for the environment if they do not exist for decades or centuries after they’ve been used.
Two things: these are basically plastic anyways.
Also, the plastic straw thing was a PR move. Corporations don’t give any shits unless it will make money or lose them money.
I’m sure there was a nontrivial number of customers who either boycotted or threatened to boycott companies that didn’t switch. When their bottom line gets threatened like that, they take action to prevent revenue loss.
Nothing more. There’s way more problems with everything than plastic straws. My favorite PR move is how they convinced everyone that their cars are causing the majority of CO2 emissions from transit… Between that and airplanes, everyone is up in arms about the electrification of everything… Yet, the most major transport offenders are freight, and they have no plans or intention of changing their ways. I heard somewhere that if you were to have zero carbon emissions for your entire life, you would save the approximate amount that freight liners emit in a year, at most. I think a year is too long. I forget the exact figure.
They emit more CO2 than all the cars, and all the planes and everything else you could point to… Yet, I have yet to hear anyone tell me about it, either personally, or on the news or anything. Everyone seems oblivious to the facts. They latch on to these “issues” like straws and personal vehicle CO2 emissions which are trivial…
People saw that video of the sea turtle with the straw in its nose and, rightfully, got mad. If only they also got mad about microplastics being inside everyone and everything.
Public outrage from one, probably staged, viral video.
There’s a disturbing number of viral videos that are downright animal abuse against turtles just for views.
Good American cheese isn’t individually wrapped. Only the really cheap shit comes like that.
Good American cheese is the really cheap shit.
The whole point of American cheese is that it’s barely cheese and more like a delicious coagulated milk-stuff sheet.
Gourmet American Cheese is some 1%-er bullshit.
The good American cheese is not in fact “1%-er bullshit”. Have you gone to a restaurant like McDonalds? You have eaten the better stuff, which comes pre-stacked in a large block. It is certainly much better.
Wait … did you just tell me that McDonald’s uses gourmet cheese??
Its been years since I’ve been to McDonald’s, but you mean to tell me they stopped charging an extra dollar for ‘cheese’?
“That’s where they get ya. That’s why I always travel with extra cheese slices.”
I find this hard to believe. They even stopped serving the actual heinz ketchup.
The fact that you called McDonalds a “restaurant” has me cracking up, while yes, it technically is, no one goes there to have a nice sit down meal with the family.
Cheddar is so much better than American.
Have you gone to a restaurant like McDonalds? You have eaten the better stuff,
McDonald’s
the better stuff
L-O-L
Idk what that other guy is on but our grocery deli has American cheese they slice themselves, it’s not much more expensive than craft
Kraft American Pre-sliced bulk packs are the pinnacle of American Cheese. It’s actually diminishing returns anywhere after that.
Thank you for fighting the good fight. Kraft Singles make people not want to try deli-style American. It makes me sad.
Kraft has “Deluxe American” cheese slices that aren’t individually wrapped and have a better flavor and texture.
I have some in my fridge right now, actually, as it’s the most consistently stocked deli-style brand at my local market. I’m a fan!
Kind of depends. Vermont cheddar cheese is fantastic and very nice but if you looking for a good smash burger or juicy Lucy burger you have to use that crappy Kraft singles stuff for the proper melt. Sure you can get Kraft in a block of sliced cheese but I am rarely cooking for like 50-100 people, which these blocks come out of.
Kraft cornered the market for a stable cheese in the early 1900’s here in America that melts really nicely and has a long shelf life with Velveeta.
A fun short little history and company story is by the Company Man on YouTube https://youtu.be/Hp0uhC15RtI?si=JAPmRQztP7ee5eSU
But even Guga Foods on YouTube highly recommends using the crappy cheese over the fancy stuff
I think by Good American cheese they meant something more like this:
https://www.landolakes.com/products/cheese/deli-american/
It is very much a different thing than Kraft Singles, you can get however much or little of it (or various competitors) you want anyplace that has deli meats, and the per-pound cost is not that much more, last I checked.
Although some kinds of cheddar might be made in the US, I don’t think Vermont Cheddar is what anyone usually has in mind when they say “Deli American Cheese.”
I’ve had no problem getting a good melt on burgers with “good” American, FWIW.
I had no idea. Thanks!
No problem!
I actually really do like Cheddar in those scenarios sometimes, but I agree with the prior comment that it doesn’t melt as nicely. 🙂
Deli American is as close to Vermont Cheddar as Turkey is to Chicken haha
Most block cheeses with a good fat and moisture content will melt well when shredded off the block right before you intend to use it. The pre-shredded or pre-sliced stuff has additives like starch in and on it to stop it from sticking together in the package and melting during transit, which prevents a good melt. Get yourself a cheap rotary shredder from Amazon (they’re like $20, mine never stays clean because I use it like every other day) and see for yourself.
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Fake Plastic Cheese, good radiohead song.
I admit growing up pretty poor, these were considered a treat lol.
You may be remembering Radiohead a bit differently than the rest of us.
I don’t know what you’re talking about. The lyrics seem pretty clear about the song being about cheese.
Her green plastic ez-cheese can
For her fake Chinese cooking pan
In the fake cheesy earth
That she ate from a spray cheese can
In a town full of muenster plans
To get rid of American
It wears her out
It wears her out
It wears her out
It wears her out
She lives with a queso hand
A sliced American hand
That just crumbles and molds
He used to get pepper jack
For girls who want that jack
But American always wins
And it wears him out
It wears him out
It wears him out
It wears
She looks like the fake cheese
She tastes like the fake cheese
My fake plastic cheese
But I can’t help the feeling
I could chew through the sealing
If I just turn and taste
And it wears me out
It wears me out
It wears me out
It wears me out
And if it could be cheese you wanted
If it could be cheese you wanted
All the cheese
All the cheese
Poetry.
Considered the following:
The slices of cheese are analogous to each of our individual lives: it’s boring, manufactured, and there is a wrap of plastic which define us as individuals but keeps separate from one another. The only good aspect of American cheese is that it is designed for melting, so in essence, by removing the plastic barrier that keeps us separated, we, like the humble slices of American cheese, can melt and become part of something greater than our individual selves (like a burger or a grilled cheese).
Or as Karl Marx once said: Life is plastic, it’s fantastic.
Being compared to American Cheese is the worst insult I’ve ever endured.
cook yourself between two pieces of bread and maybe you’ll be compared to american grilled cheese instead
I really want American cheese that is not wrapped in plastic. Kraft makes it but it costs more than double the plastic wrapped stuff. I’ve paid that price when times were plenty but they are no more.
Buy a cheese slicer and thank me later. Another pro tip buy cheese from Amish people if you can, I love like 30 minutes away from an Amish store & their cheese is on another level.
Random tip, if you have a block of cheese but no slicer, you can wrap it once with dental floss where you wanna cut and pull the ends together to cut through the cheese. It can be just a tad awkward though, just basically try to make sure the floss ends stay lined up on the plane of the cut. I dunno, just a quick hack anyways.
Mmm, minty
LOL, I hear ya, but there’s also flavorless dental floss. Whatever, quick hack of a half-ass LPT.
Have you ever heard of a “knife” before?
Yes, broke the handle on one the other week trying to cut through one. Cheese has a very high friction when trying to cut with a knife. That’s why they make cheese cutters.
Dental floss works better than breaking kitchen knife handles…
I guess it depends on how big the block is to begin with.
I’m not buying multiple kilograms of cheese in one setting.
I have a cheese and meat slicer on my wishlist, I’ll get there one of these days.
Cheese slicers are like $10? Times that tough?
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Gone are the days of being properly fed off a normal wage.
Can’t say I even find the ones individually wrapped appealing, cheaper or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not even real cheese.
It’s “pasteurized processed American cheese product” according to the label.
Cheese product makes me think that there is so little actual cheese in it they can’t legally call it cheese.
My understanding is it is made from reconstituted powdered milk.
We store a lot of dairy products in caves throughout this country I have been told.
American cheese is so processed anyways is it any better with or without the plastic?
Markedly. The stuff wrapped in plastic is like play dough in comparison to getting it in a block or sliced from the deli counter.
No joke, I worked in a deli and my friend would ball up a slice of american cheese and use it as a bouncy ball. That shit is wild.
Just use Swiss Cheez, it’s spreadable. I don’t eat anything without it.
Are you okay?
Get whiz pilled
Why the fuck didn’t Twizzlers capitalise on the non-plastic straw market?!
Have you ever tried to snort coke through a Twizzler?
'nuff said.
I dunno man, the whole point of using a Twizzler as a straw is that you eat it after…
Imagine if, instead of showing bling replacement teeth, rappers posed for photos with Twizzlers in their mouths. Craig Charles surely would have looked different.
Well, you do make a good point. Plus, there’s that much less evidence left behind. Snort on homie, you’re clearly more experienced than me… 👍
I just fucking love liquorice. Whether or not it tastes like bank notes makes no difference.
It’s when you take the morning rush to the office and smell a pang of bank notes that I start asking questions. That’s not cologne, yet some people wear it as such.
Craig Charles does crack though, fair warning if you ever end up in a green room with him.
This…So much thie…but red vines rather than twizzler. They have a much bigger hole.
Absolutely.
Although I imagine some sort of German engineered version, where the hole isn’t all that big but somehow maintains structural integrity yet significant flow rate.
The life we could’ve had if McDonalds didn’t dictate things.
where the hole isn’t all that big but somehow maintains structural integrity yet significant flow rate
Sorry, fluid mechanics doesn’t work that way.
I dunno man, I have a few German vapes protected by patents that seem to work alright. Their first patent expired a few years ago, however patents for their portable vapes won’t expire until 2035, but there’s surely some scope to make something transformative before then.
I’m not familiar enough with vapes (German or otherwise) to understand how they’re related to using Twizzlers as straws.
Because the vape I’m talking about has a trick heatsink inside that it uses to heat air up to the desired temperature, without massively restricting airflow.
I used to drink root beer out of the licorice red vines, those held up quite well. Though, the lart was around seven years ago. I haven’t seen blaok red vines in ages around these parts.
Have no idea if the red ones would have held up. Never liked those too much, heh, and other than root beer, birch beer, I’d drink coffee instead.
Why can’t they make the straw out of the same thing that the inside of the cup is made out of? My cup isn’t disintegrating in seven minutes due to exposure to liquid.
Cheese like this always tastes gross.
This is not real cheese, it is american cheese.
For the record, good American cheese does exist. It’s just a blend of cheddar and Colby with some annatto for seasoning, instead of the extruded “cheese product” stuff in plastic wrappers.
Oh yes, sorry.
“”“”““cheese””“”“” like this always tastes gross.
Grilled cheese sandwiches would like a word with you
True those taste good, but they taste even better made with Havarti or Gouda
The reason single slice cheese is great for grilled cheese is due to the emulsifiers in it. Even if you use other cheese you want to throw a slice of that in there to bind it all together.
Or some other melting cheese like jack. For sure though American cheese or Velveeta are fantastic melting cheeses for a good cheese blend.
No thanks. I prefer actual cheese on my sandwich. Not this salt paste. flings the frisbee cheese back at you take this abomination away.
