BOCA CHICA, TX—Touting the device as the next step forward in primate mutilation, Elon Musk announced Thursday the first successful human trial of Neuralink’s brain detonator. “I am thrilled to announce that after exploding the heads of our trial participants, Neuralink’s groundbreaking brain detonator is one step closer to commercial reality,” said Musk, explaining that the Neuralink brain detonator actually exceeded expectations by incinerating the skulls and melting the flesh of 100% of test subjects. “We plan to initially roll out this cerebrum-splattering technology to invalids, comatose patients, and the clueless before expanding it to the general public. And soon, the brain detonator will be implanted in the cranium of every man, woman, and child in the country.” At press time, the Neuralink brain detonator trials were reportedly paused after Musk’s head exploded.
I was just thinking about this shit the other day… how come nobody’s talking about Neuralink anymore? It’s been memory holed in a huge way
The feds can’t allow the masses to think that top American plutocrat Elon Musk literally wants to mind control his population
It does actually still seem to be in the news, just buried by Musk’s other bullshit
Notably, though, he forcefully removed Phyllis Wong, who was investigating the animal welfare claims made about Neuralink’s research labs.
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/technology/tech-news/phyllis-fong-who-was-investigating-elon-musks-brain-implant-startup-neuralink-forcefully-removed-from-office-after-refusing-termination-order/articleshow/117800543.cms
Musk also claimed that a third recipient had an implant, with 30 planned for this year. MIT tech review suggests they only have trial spaces for 8 people across the US and Canada, though.
https://www.technologyreview.com/2025/01/16/1110017/what-to-expect-from-neuralink-in-2025/
oh so he moved on to killing people now then