Look. just tell them I get the money. I’ll take a small processing fee of like two bucks to buy myself some coffee and send the rest back to the hospital so you can get back to the business of helping people.

if you’re wondering what I get out of it… well, besides the coffee… i get to say I’m some chief-something-or-another-officer of a hospital on my resume, yes? I’m sure that’ll be good for a job where I make more in a week or two than I do now in a year. We all win.