In my 30’s and only within the last few years have I been able to really introspect my life, and realize behaviors that I’ve “created” or “fake” in social interactions. I struggled a lot in middle/high school, and even through my 20’s. I’ve essentially “found” myself to some degree in my 30’s, but I’m actually not sure how much of it is me and how much of it is masking.
I recognize the signs when I’m being fake in interactions that would benefit from being more genuine. It’s automatic, and I’ve noticed others take notice when it’s the wrong mask at the wrong time. Which just means I get better at it, which is nice and all, but it would be cool if it wasn’t such an automatic reaction.
So my question to all of you is how do you reduce masking behavior in situations or relationships where it may be beneficial or necessary to not do so?
Awkwardly I guess you could answer this with “You get better at it with time”, which is true of most things. However, I’m looking for some emotionally intelligent advice or anecdotes.
What helped me was moving to a small town a bit away from my friends and getting to spend a lot of time with myself, just being myself with myself.
That mixed with the loss of all fucks because I finally accepted how meaningless this all is and how little I actually care about what other people think.
Those two thing helped me become a more authentic version of my self. Although I still have to be careful sometimes, it might get me in trouble at work one day, but at the same time if it does happen then w.e I’ll just find a new job
Im a vegan anarcho-communist/sydicalist and I catch myself saying some pretty unfiltered shit to my colleagues when topics come up that I have answers for, I’ve stopped holding my punches I just don’t give a fuck anymore.