A few days ago i made a post about me starting working at a factory, grad has been very kind in providing messages of support and tips on how to deal with physical exhaustion and keeping healthy.
today, i don’t know what to do or to think, im one week in and seriously thinking in quitting, can’t take anymore, not so much about physical exhaustion, but mentally, even cried in the bathroom today.
and that is what is bothering me, how to come to terms with being so weak. im not trying to make anyone fell pity or something, especially when we still have colonies where things are hardcore and palestinians getting massacred.
like, idk what to do, i can’t do mental work because i can’t get a fucking job in it, and I’m not handling physical work, and confused about how being weak and not even capable of taking care of myself and handle a job, and be useful in a revolution or be up to the same level of many brave people fighting for the rights to exist, or something as simple as following party discipline.
sometimes i which i could just cease to exist, that way would stop being dead weight and not smudge the good name of our comrades.
edit: i am really moved by your kindness, i will answer each soon.
My first thought is give yourself like, a week or two to adjust. It’s a huge change getting into plant/manufacturing work for most people and until you’ve experienced enough to understand ‘normal’ it can feel like you’re constantly being bombarded with new surprises. For me at least, the worst part of a job is often not knowing what’s coming or what’s expected of me, which usually gets better with time. There is always gonna be alienation and frustration unfortunately, but I find that if I’m able to take care of myself physically and create routines that let me see people I care about and get quality time in I can manage.
For the larger existential worry, the good news about a mass movement is that none of us needs to carry it on our back. We’re stronger together, and not everyone will be sweating it out in a bog like Che, nor should everyone be expected to. Maybe that’s not the most helpful thought but it helps me when I get down.