Years ago I had to call 911 for a nasty stomach virus. I felt like I was dying and lived alone so it was the only option I had left. I was able to drag my body out to the front lawn before passing out unconscious. They sent a fucking police officer before the ambulance. First thing I saw was a flashlight in my face followed by a (holstered) gun.

The cherry on top is that the 15 minute ambulance trip and one bag of saline cost me $3k