jordan @jordan stratton
In order to get a true representation of each country’s athletic skill, the Olympics should randomly select citizens to compete like it’s jury duty:
Who’s next on the balance beam for the US? Is it Simone Biles? Nope it’s 39yo electrician, Dale. Wow he does not look confident
“Next up on the javelin throw is Ivan Ivanovich. Weighing in at 450 pounds of pure muscle and built like two refrigerators side by side. Let’s see if he can beat his previous personal best of 2,5 miles…”
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Javelin is actually a bad example for this, because javelins were redesigned about 40 years ago to not fly as far.
How is that fair for anyone trying to beat a previous world record? Or have they already all been beaten with the new javelins?
No, the longest throw is from 1984:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men's_javelin_throw_world_record_progression
They essentially just restarted records, mostly in the name of safety, as most stadiums don’t have the room for people throwing 120+ meters.
Not a problem for Ivanovich. He flexes his steroids at atmospheric friction and the Earth’s gravitational pull and lets it fly. All he’s gotta do then is beat out the gravitational pull from his delts.
Ultimate Olympics would be a bring-your-own souped-up javelin kind of event.
Like Taskmaster?
Task 1: build the most aesthetically pleasing javelin.
Task 2: throw your javelin the furthest from beyond the rope.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQOiMRQoRRM