I cannot keep my job. Firstly because I’m on FMLA (unpaid medical leave) for a mystery illness and I cannot guarantee that, even if finally diagnosed, I will be recovered by the 12 week maximum allotted.

Secondly because we’ve put our daughter in online school due to severe bullying. The program she’s in now is awful and I have to help her through her English lessons (she’s in 7th grade and they’re having her read 18th century texts). We’re switching her to a new program next semester which requires a parent to be a full-time “learning coach” for their kid to keep them on track.

It’s a terrible job. I absolutely hate it. The pay is low, the job is boring, my co-workers don’t really care about my existence, and my bosses are friendly but unreasonable. The only thing I like is that I have a hybrid schedule where I can work from home for 18 hours a week. But spending the other 22 hours in the office sucks. I spend the whole time wearing noise-cancelling headphones just to get through the time there. I’ve wanted to leave this job for a good year now although I admit I wasn’t trying very hard to find another one.

But I just can’t bring myself to resign. I don’t know why. Something is stopping me like it’s the wrong thing to do. I know I will be happier even though we will be on a single income, I am doing the right thing for my daughter, and I have no idea when this medical issue will be resolved.

I was going to write the resignation letter last Friday. Every day I mean to write it and every day I just can’t do it. I know I have to do it soon. Maybe even today. But something won’t let me do it. My brain is telling me I can’t quit.

Thanks for reading my rant. I don’t know why I wrote it. I guess I needed to let it out to someone other than my wife and my boss follows me on non-anonymous social media so I can’t really talk about it there.

EDIT: I wrote the email, showed it to my wife to see what she thought and sent it. Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for a reply, but I’m shaking.