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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • I was locked up in one for a couple of weeks after I tried to kill myself, and the only thing that experience did for me is to make sure I keep the ideas to myself next time so no one can interfere. Must be something about the locked doors that turns psychiatric nurses into prison guards mentally, but none of them apart from a trainee from abroad was pleasant to deal with and one was a proper nurse Ratchet. I’ll give you a snippet of her professional behavior and care for the mental wellbeing of the patients.

    I was laying on a sofa in the common area reading a book after lunchtime, and had not seen a single other person for about half an hour. Also there was another sofa just like the one I was on and two armchairs in the room. Enter nurse:

    -I have to ask you to get off that sofa.

    -What? Why?

    -Someone might want to come in and sit on it.

    -But there’s plenty of other places here to sit, also I’ve not seen anyone around for a good while anyway.

    -But they might want to sit right there anyway.

    -What about me wanting to be right here now?

    -Stop being difficult!

    -Did you want to sit here?

    -You have five seconds to get off that sofa or I’ll get the orderlies and we’ll sedate you!


    Fuckin power tripping bitch.

    edit: So many typos…
















  • No health care professional ever told me that depression can be something that’s just a part of who I am, and that maybe there is no getting rid of it. Rens message in the video feels so genuine and real that instead of passing it over as just another piece of pop culture, I stopped to really listen and think about what he’s saying about managing your darker tendencies and learning to live with them. The song has maybe helped me accept myself a bit better, but as I said, it’s still a bit too early to call if it’s an actually permanent and useful effect.