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I think you’ve got part of it right from my recollection and experiences, but not quite the full thing. I think Obama’s success actually lead shitty people to lash out more, which brought trump to power, which emboldened those shitty people to stop hiding it and actually be proud and display it. I think the racism and shittiness was always there but people kept more of a lid on it. We just aren’t able to pretend it isn’t who we are more broadly anymore.
I just don’t respond if I’m doing something else or calling it a night. It’s ok to set boundaries by just taking your time to respond. You don’t have to respond immediately and it’s not really healthy to expect them to every time either. Anyone that can’t handle that and stops responding just isn’t going to be a match for you if you need to have that kind of break from responding. I’m definitely opposed to the white lies, I prefer someone I’m communicating with to at least respect me enough to be up front about it if they say anything at all, but I don’t need a reason if they don’t respond for hours or even a day or so.