I gave up on holidays when they started celebrating them when most convenient for capitalism. If you can’t celebrate Saint Paddy’s on a Tuesday go fuck yourselves, you don’t get a Saint Paddy’s.

Why is water wet?

Ok, I’m hard, now what?

They need to stop hitting themselves in the face with the ugly stick. Holy shit.

We found an Internet tough guy, everyone back up! While we were busy virtue signaling this guy studied deez nuts.

Suck my Schwartz.

I always go beans and potato salad.