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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Cade@beehaw.orgtoLGBTQ+@beehaw.orgWhy We Hate Bi Men
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    1 year ago

    I don’t care how many times people explain to me that “kill all men” doesn’t actually mean kill all men. It still hurts. Ever since I transitioned, I’ve noticed the casual misandry thrown about everywhere like it’s not a big deal, but it’s a big deal to me. “All men are trash” includes me.

    I’ve always had an issue with the idea that generalizations are okay. If “all men are trash” actually means “the patriarchy is trash”, just say that. I understand a lot of it as simply venting, but it’s almost never constructive or helpful, and it certainly isn’t fun to hear as a trans dude. Hell, part of the reason it took so long for me to accept myself as a man is because of this kind of rhetoric.

    I hope it gets better, because it does feel very alienating whenever I encounter it. I want to be a part of queer spaces, but it’s hard when you feel hated.



  • I mean, that’s up to you. But I guarantee you will both feel better and maybe help save the world if you try doing something beyond getting angry and then disassociating.

    Consider the fact that headlines that instill fear and doom work against us. What use is trying if it’s all fucked anyway? The thing is it isn’t over until it’s over. I can’t make you have hope, but hopefully you can come to realize that hope does a lot more for us than giving up. If you can envision a better future, you can work towards it! You can help advocate in your local Citizen’s Climate Lobby chapter, develop a good garden for local wildlife and pollinators, or even just helping others be aware of the issue can help. There’s no one coming to save us, so it’s up to us to save ourselves.

    Or you can just get angry and do nothing.

    I understand the anxiety. I was frozen from it for a long time. But what helped more than anything else was simply going outside and tending a garden. Find a love for the life on this planet, and try to protect it. There’s so much worth fighting for.










  • Yeah, it’s way more a problem with urban design in my opinion. In a lot of parts of the US, including where I’m at, a lot of cities are just… One road. Maybe two. You just continue to add stuff to the road and then become surprised when traffic happens and then it’s time to try (and fail) making more roads. It’s a city on a stick. Being a cyclist means risking your life to ride near the side of a street where there is no sidewalk and praying to God people can see you. And then every single commute is much longer than it needs to be.

    I do not like it… but a car is the only reasonable option for cities designed so poorly.


  • I can completely get behind paying for a service if that means the service works and is better than all the other ones. I’ll at least try it out. Personally, I’d probably prefer if I could pay for a certain number of searches (like pay for a 1000 searches with 20 bucks) instead of the subscription model. I’m glad that there’s an ad-free search service though.