That’s what xmpp is. It was embraced by Google and Facebook and killed.

I have a home server and a laptop. Both run different versions of Ubuntu

Best is so subjective.

I am running pivpn, pihole, all the arrs, jellyfin, gitea and rundeck.

What’s the problem with this?

If they can moderate that many groups to the standard each community is happy with is it an issue?

I thought that was the same damage working at a desk that does not fit can cause

Email has the same problems as federated lemmy servers.

Mail Servers can end up on distrubuted blacklists and unable to communicate with each other. When office 365 has an outage it causes huge problems because it’s a single large provider having issues. That provider goes down but not email as a whole.

This is the same as what happened about a week ago when lemmy.ml and lemmy.world went down due to load.