I'm back on my BS 🤪

I’m back on my bullshit.

  • 48 Posts
  • 622 Comments
Joined 4 months ago
cake
Cake day: May 28th, 2024

help-circle
  • Back in the late 90s, I had a close friend in high school that went down the wrong path. He started dating a horrible girl and got into drugs pretty bad, so I had to cut him off. Later on when I was dating my high school gf, she told me she saw him outside some local store trying to sell oregano as weed and almost got himself killed. Weed now is for chill people, but back in the 90s, it’s how hard and tormented souls used to self-medicate. Selling bogus weed to people was such a stupid risky idea, especially in our part of the city. Luckily, he had a coming to terms moment, quit that life, and ended graduating with an engineering degree from a pretty good university. Last I heard, he’s still friends with that PoS girl though.




  • I can’t remember lol, but I think the video was a nice boost to the surge at the time.

    As far as funny stories, I’m undergoing EMDR and that comes with these intense rushes of pent up energy. To release that energy in a healthy way, I’ve been going for long (3+ mi/5+ km) walks around my neighborhood at night when it’s nice and quiet. I also wear my earbuds and listen to music that matches whatever it is that I’m processing. However, there are some things to this.

    One is that I’m going for walks with 120 lbs (55kg) rottweiler, so that comes with a certain connotation. Two, I’m dressed in my worst rags because I don’t want to spend the nice clothes on these walks. The nice clothes is for social events. Three, I’m walking to release energy pent up from difficult experiences, so my pace and demeanor are probably visibly aggressive. Sometimes, I have to slow down to let the rottie take a break. Four, I live on the edge of a pretty fancy upper-class neighborhood, so they are used to a certain presentation that I am definitely not meeting. The only time they see someone like me is when they are trying to avoid people that are asking for money at the gas station or off ramp. Five, whenever I see anyone else out walking, I cross the street because I don’t want to interact with them, have small talk, or stop my process. What I imagine they see is this madman going through the shadows at an insane pace making all sorts of angry gestures accompanied by a bear disguised as a dog. So ereyesternight, I’m pretty sure I got the cops called on me because there was a police car driving around slowly with their static blue lights on. When they got near me, they flashed their spotlight at me and slowed down. I nervously waved back 👋😬🐕‍🦺. Luckily, they left me alone after that. I’m pretty sure they already know who I am anyway. Still, this is more evidence that I’m a 40 year-old Sam from Atypical.

    Thanks for checking in.







  • People need 3 things to commit suicide:

    • social isolation
    • sense of burden
    • capacity

    Social Isolation

    If the person feels alone, even if surrounded by people, they’re meeting this criterion. Loneliness is social pain because being alone was guaranteed death back in the day. Being socially isolated is literally painful.

    Sense of Burden

    If the person feels that all they do is drag people down, then they may see that their existence is a drag. Match this sense of worthlessness and parasitic existence with the pain of loneliness, and the person in a dire hopeless situation. To them, there is no point to being alive. They’re in constant inescapable pain and not only contribute nothing, but they are spreading that pain onto others…at least that’s how they see it.

    Capacity

    This refers to the ability for someone to be able to kill themselves. Do they have the means? Pills, car, rope, firearm? Military people in general are at higher risk because they are more likely to have firearms. But one thing that I think is overlooked is that they’ve been trained at a brainwashing level that violent killing is the ultimate solution to problems.

    Regardless, not having the capacity is a major protective factor, which is why people get isolated in settings that prevent them from killing themselves. I’d like to point out how fucked up this is though. We are taking a person that is in so much pain they want to die, and placing them in a physical environment that prevents them from that. While necessary as a last resort, it’s torture.

    What if when someone says their in pain, we believe them? Maybe we offer millions of other opportunities to turn their life around. And if they’re not grabbing on to those opportunities, work with them to solve those barriers. Maybe placing blame on them solely increases their sense of burden.

    If you’re in pain, I believe you ♥️

    edit:




  • I think people should get married only if they have a 100% intrinsic drive to do so. If you’re going online asking others, then you shouldn’t get married. It’s like you’re trying to find an excuse for or an approval to override something that is telling you not to get married.

    If before you met this woman, your future dream wife’s job was porn, then go for it. If not and rn you’re kinda just kind of like I-don’t-know, then don’t. Stop even thinking about it. It’s not an option.

    Honestly, it seems like you probably shouldn’t be wasting your time with this woman. If she has an Only Fans, then she’s using sex to take from men. You’re more likely than not, one of those men because that’s how she sees sex and men. Men are a source of income and sex is the service. It’s all transactional. Of course, she’s not going to come straight out and tell you that because it would ruin her game. Kinda like she probably doesn’t go on her videos and says, “I don’t find any of you attractive. This is all a show to get paid and validation,” because no one would want to watch. She’s going to be the same with you.

    I recommend that you look into emotional manipulation tactics used by abusers. When you do so, be honest with yourself. Mind your boundaries.



  • I got all of you thieves. I think I might look shady or at least like someone that is going to steal. It’s prolly cause of my demeanor, behaviors, attire, and tattoos. I also act pretty weird when I’m by myself, so that’s when it usually happens. On a few occasions when I felt like I was being followed, I have tested it by going in directions that another shopper likely wouldn’t go in. Yep, I get followed. They send a stock person to the aisle to move shit around. Like the Publix macaroni really needed to be neatly replaced. Sometimes they make it evident that they are watching me at the self checkout scanner like a warning. They stand at the end. Why are they getting paid to stand there just as I showed up? Hmm. Now that I think about it, I have a good idea for a YT channel. I’d wear a discrete body camera every time I go shopping alone and post myself getting following or warned.

    If you see me in the store, I got their attention, so you can go at all the good stuff. If there is a Target security person in here, from what I’ve heard people confess to me, the ones that are stealing are the ones you would least profile: middle-class light-skin women that appear aloof. They’re only running half the shit thru the self checkout scanner. If you catch them, “Oops! I must have not been paying attention. Silly me.” I’m not stealing shit. I know I have eyes on me everywhere I go.