I’m a real person!

  • 1 Post
  • 13 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: July 1st, 2023

help-circle




  • I only have one child, because she tried to kill me.

    Going through the complications, the hospitalizations, the stress on my marriage, the fear and the sorrow and the anxiety… At the time it was all devastating. But then I held my healthy, beautiful daughter and I knew we had both survived it all. There was, of course, the natural biological rush of hormones and happy chemicals to ease labor and promote bonding. For me though, there was also a feeling of invincibility and adrenaline, like I had survived jumping off a cliff after a long tortuous hike to the top of a mountain. I don’t know how else to describe it.

    Sure it could have killed me, but it didn’t!

    Then factor in that for any woman, people will always ask when are you having another one? Peers at Mommy and Me, family members, old ladies at the grocery store, it’a a deeply personal decision and people treat it like chatting about the weather. Other Mom’s would tell me their birth stories and say but ‘it was all so worth the pain’ and I’d think, maybe I’m a wuss. Maybe I’m not as good of a mother as they are.

    Think, too, of all the other stupid shit humans do that might kill them. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Do you drink? Cross the street without waiting for the traffic signal? Drive or ride in a car? And if so, what did you get out of it? You could have risked your life, or someone else’s, for nothing.

    These women are risking their lives, but they’ve survived this ordeal before. And in return, they bring a new life into the world!

    I still wouldn’t do it again, but I can’t blame any mother who does.






  • I did cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia years ago, and at the time had the same issue with waking up and then laying in bed for hours trying to get back to sleep. It led to a horrible cycle of anxiety about whether I’d be able to sleep, which of course made it harder to sleep. The most important rules are to try to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. If you’re awake in the middle of the night and can’t fall back asleep after ten minutes, get out of bed and do something quiet with no screens. I recommend hand washing dishes, dusting, or folding laundry. This is productive, calm and quiet, and boring enough that you will be happy to go back to bed when your body says you’re ready. When you start doing this, you’re going to be even more tired during the day. Just suffer through it, don’t take a nap and don’t try to counteract it with caffeine or other stimulants! That will only exacerbate the cycle of insomnia. I also recommend keeping a journal of when you go to bed, every time you wake up, and when you’re finally up for the day. You might find that you naturally wake up less if you give yourself a different bed time window.


  • I’m graduating this month at 31 and my friend, you have made a great decision for yourself! It’s incredibly difficult as an adult, but it’s going to feel completely worth it when you’re at the end. You’ll open up a new world of job opportunities, and if you ever have kids or take on a mentor type role for one you will be a living example for them to get through it too. I spent the first two years of college making jokes to my classmates about doing it a decade too late, but now I’m owning it. Those whipper snappers should try doing it alongside a full time job and a kid and a house with a currently flooded basement!

    You’re going to do great. And, even if you don’t do great, all you need to do is PASS. That’s okay too!