• southbayrideshare@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I want a Samuel L Tracksun robot pet bed with an adjustable attitude dial following the sunlight around the room and yelling:

    Oh, I’m sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue. You were shining… something about ultraviolet rays? Oh, y-you were finished? Oh, well, allow me to retort. What does the animal on my back look like? [angrily rolls back into the sunlight] What solar system are you from!? Silence ain’t no country I ever heard of! They send photons in “Silence”!? [rolls up on the sunlight again] PHOTONS, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SEND THEM!? MOVE AGAIN! I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE-DARE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!! MOVE YOUR HELIOCENTRIC ASS ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!