• shortrounddev@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    I started dating my wife when we were both in high school so I’m lucky that I never had to try to start dating in my 20s. But when I was in high school asking out a girl was as simple as walking up and saying “do you want to go out with me?”

    I asked out girls that I KNEW there was a 99% chance they’d say no, but I asked anyways. The worst they ever said was “no”. Nobody ever laughed in my face or told all their friends or spread rumors about me, they just said no thank you and I moved on.

    This was like 2009-2013 mind you; I think young people are a lot more cruel now than they were then.

    • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      Young people were every fucking bit as cruel back then. Source: same age bracket as you and was bullied nearly to suicide

      • Shirasho@lemmings.world
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        1 day ago

        +1. In addition, schools frequently side with the bully because it is easier to deal with a victim’s parents than a bully’s parents.

        • Fluffy Kitty Cat@slrpnk.net
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          1 day ago

          Also bullying is an informal form of social control they don’t have to do themselves nor take responsibly for unless it involves serious physical violence.

      • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        Trash social media has connected the worst sort of people and given them a platform to share their toxic traits.

        So cruel, but uncreative people now have wider options to be shitty.

    • spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 day ago

      Nobody ever laughed in my face or told all their friends or spread rumors about me, they just said no thank you and I moved on.

      I was in college by the time you were in high school, and I totally had friends who had that happen. I don’t know if kids are more cruel now or if you had an exceptionally kind group of peers.

      • ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 day ago

        It’s because n=1 in either case doesn’t speak for the average or general picture of what happens. Both your posts are just anecdotes.

      • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Okay, they were laughed at. Then what? Did the guy blow it off and try with someone else, or never try again? It’s not how many times you get knocked down…

    • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml
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      1 day ago

      I think young people are a lot more cruel now than they were then.

      Its more of a human thing actually. I always find anti bullying measures kind of a waste of time. Adults will bully you way more. It just isn’t a swirly.

      it’s making you fill out an application on a job prospects website even though the info is on the resume.

      It’s every month when we pay rent.

      It’s every paycheck we receive that doesn’t include our surplus labor value.

      It’s a overdraft fee from your bank.

      It’s ComcastXfinity purchasing your local government and ensuring you have no alternatives for an ISP.

      It’s the “unprecedented call volume” you wait through that happens because the customer service phone line is purposely understaffed.

      It’s your health insurance denying your claim.

      It’s everywhere. Just because we hide it behind a curtain of the economic system doesn’t mean it changes the nature of these interactions.

      Besides, don’t you want your kid to be successful? Bullies are successful as fuck. Every parent should be teaching their child to be the biggest asshole douchebag bully ever.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      I was in High School in '93-'96. I graduated a year early. The kids were, if anything, worse back then. Y’all are much more empathetic over all, than the kids I went to HS and University with.

      • Prehensile_cloaca @lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        Because we were raised by Boomers, the least empathetic generation in modern history.

        The inertia of fucking Boomers is an unwelcome gift that won’t go away for years to come.

    • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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      1 day ago

      Nobody ever laughed in my face or told all their friends or spread rumors about me, they just said no thank you and I moved on.

      Lucky you, I asked a girl out once in HS, got denied, afterwards she and her friends would often look at me and giggle during classes or breaks and avoid any contact with me. Later, through a friend, I learned they came up with the nickname “priest” for me (as in catholic priest, who has to vow for celibacy), as that was the “obvious career choice” for me

          • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            That statistic applies to all marriages and not to first marriages, also iirc it was only for a few years. Divorce rates have been on a generally downward trajectory for quite a while

            • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              19 hours ago

              all marriages would include first marraiges, what you’re trying to say is that people who divorce, are more likely to divorce more than once, several times even. Which disproportionately pushes up the divorce rate.

              Now would be a good time to pull stats for first marriage divorce if there are any good ones.

            • Fluffy Kitty Cat@slrpnk.net
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              1 day ago

              That makes sense. A lot of bad marriages were only held together by divorce being illegal and they all flew apart at once. Then things have slowed to a more natural base rate

              • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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                1 day ago

                There’s also a lot less pressure to marry early or at all. Like, I’m married because I love my wife and wanted to marry her. Had I been pressured to marry younger I probably wouldn’t’ve met her and may have resented being pressured in before I was ready.

                • Fluffy Kitty Cat@slrpnk.net
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                  1 day ago

                  Lots of people married right put of high school so they could bang and now they’re stuck together. Still happens in really religious communities

          • shortrounddev@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            That is absolutely not true, it’s just made up pop statistics spread by misanthropes that misses the nuances of the data