Listen folks, I’ve had it with Denmark, that failing little shithole pork country, very low energy country. America needs to own Greenland for FREEDOM and NATIONAL SECURITY but the haters and losers in the Danish government they don’t want to sell it. Greenland, it’s the largest island in the world, it’s where penguins live. Did you know that? Many people don’t know that. I knew that, I know Islands very well. But they don’t want to sell it, even when I offered them real American dollars for it, the best currency in the world, they said no. Can you believe it? They turned down the deal of a lifetime! Very rude.

I had made an appointment with their Queen to tell her we should make the Greenland deal happen, she’s very sleepy, well past her prime, still an amazing woman though, the most tremendous hats ever! I had made an appointment but the moment they heard it was about buying Greenland the radical socialist government of Denmark, total bunch of haters and losers, said no. “No” they said “Donald you can’t buy greenland you can’t do it!” And they cancelled it all. They cancelled me! Very rude, very disrespectful. Nobody treats America like that!

Now the queen is out and they got this new guy, Freddie they call him. Little running guy, likes sports, jogs a lot, not that bright. “Freddie,” I’m going to say to him, “Freddie, you’re going to make the deal, youre going to sell us Greenland! It’s going to be amazing!” And If he’s any smart he’ll know that now is the best time to sell and say yes. Its Not like Denmark is doing anything with Greenland anyways, it just sits there frozen.

Because I’m telling you, I’m telling you folks, we need Greenland and we’re going to make Greenland American again no matter what the failing Danes say about the matter. We need Greenland for FREEDOM, because Greenland has Santa’s workshop. All the elves, all the machines that makes the presents, it’s true folks, it’s right there in Greenland. No DEI, no woke OSHA rules, just hardworking elves. And we need that elf technology, we need it folks, we need it to make America great again. If we don’t take it, China will. And if China gets Santa’s workshop they’re going to put communism in the presents, radical left-wing woke communism. They’re going to do it folks and they’re going to do it because they are jealous and hate America.

And Santa, we’re going to make Santa an American. He’ll wear red white and blue. There will be no more presents for illegal immigrants or terrorists or anyone who disrespects America! It’s going to be huge folks!

We’re going to get Greenland no matter what folks. If they’re not going to make a deal and sell we’re going to take it folks, we’re going to do it. And what are the nasty Danes going to do about it? Their military is a total joke, total basket case. They don’t have any nukes, not even a little tiny one. What are they going to do? Throw Legos at us? It’s going to be great, all the Christmas presents will be made in the USA and Greenland will get McDonald’s, they will get amazing American healthcare, they’ll get the second amendment right to free speech, they’ll become part of the greatest nation on earth, we’ll breed a penguin-bald eagle hybrid, a Very patriotic bird, and we’ll make it their national bird. It’s going to be great folks!