I’m 13y old that was recently diagnosed with ASD. School is starting soon, they surely haven’t changed nor a little bit. They’re just bunch of idiots that like to express their pain and anger on others. Or just fool them for fun. Reporting them does nothing (have been doing that for almost 6 years). It’s like reporting system in CP (Club Penguin), no one is even sure if it even does anything. I never do anything to them, I just stare at them or do something else. That I have blank face or sound calm dosen’t mean that I’m calm. When I answer in short sentences that either means that I don’t have inspiration to talk or that I hold lots of emotions in me. And, about blank face… I ALMOST ALWAYS HAVE BLANK FACE. I almost never express my emotions on my face. So, should I just throw a tantrum without caring for consequences or act tought. Does entire community of ASDers need to act like douchebags just to not be an easy target for bullying?!
P.S I’ve posted this in c/autism because I feel like this problem is deeply tied with my personality. -medvedev-
Just: In my personal experience from way back when? Being such a terrifyingly violent little shit that no-one wants to risk setting you off may have its drawbacks, but it damn well works at getting bullies to knock it off. But being terrifyingly violent doesn’t mean you need to be an asshole when not provoked.
You’re so young, I know this may not help, but please remember this is just right now, not forever. Things can and will improve.
Are you in a bigger school? Any other neurodivergent people you could align with?
My go-to is a three step process. The first insult goes unheard, the second goes one of three ways. If the insult is minor, in case they’re “ribbing” I’ll give the benefit of the doubt and give a shrug or other “I know I’m weird, but I like it that way” sort of response. If the insult is severe or out-and-out malicious, I’ll give a very muted, unemotional response, like “uh huh…” Or “glad you think so…”
If they go for a third to get a rise out of you, go for the throat. Make direct, fierce, and very forced eye contact. Completely face them. If you know them, you could opt to make a very grave, personal insult on something that you know will cut them deeply, but it must be acurate and not at all overstated. I don’t use that approach anymore, but instead the better option is to call them out within earshot of others. Show the anger on your face but show none in your voice. “Does anyone else feel like this guy likes being a prick? Does anyone else think he’s cool because he’s an asshole?” Draw eyes. Call out his name. Ask if anyone else thinks he’s a bully. Put the spotlight on him without drawing on any direct insult.
two solutions, one violence. It will have consequence as then the school will come for your ass.
Two, the police.You are currently being the victim of a crime. What they are doing is illegal and a visit to the police station may calm them down. The thing is, they don’t only target you because you are both weird and better than them. They are targeting you because they feel like you are weak and they will face no consequence. The best idea to get rid of them is to bring down consequences on them. Report them to everyone, inside and outside school, be vocal about what you are living through
Sadly I can not give you good advice. I always pushed back hard but that didn’t help either and gave me a bad reputation with some teachers too. The only positive thing I tell you is that in my experience the higher you go in education, the idiots who do things like that get rarer. The only thing that helped me a little was finding nice people who were also on the fringes. Once you are part of a group, bullies are more careful.
You are right, somewhy bullies became rare as I aged. Which is why I was surprised they still existed when I was in conscription. They don’t grow up and stop bullying. They don’t change. We were friggin adults, and they formed a cliché and entertained themselves by back-talking anyone who didn’t fit. Or steal stuff from them.
So why higher education has less bullies, I don’t know. I would like to imagine they aren’t intelligent enough to take the education path I did, but thats probably just a revenge-fantasy.
Bullying is a tactic to raise your own perceived worth by stepping on others. I think most people who have any real talent or education don’t need that. Also, it is not universal, but intelligence makes introspection more likely.
