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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Boberticus21 on 2023-08-24 13:14:44.

Ok, a fair amount of context here. My fiance and I have been fighting a lot. In the past, when the fighting got bad she would do things like leave her engagement ring on my desk and say, “give this back to me when you actually want to marry me.”

I always hated these kind of gestures because they feel like tests. I ended up caving in and returning her ring to her every time, usually with apologies and some reconciliation, but the gesture always felt like a low blow and I always felt a bit weak for responding to them.

Most recently after an argument, my fiance packed up all of her clothes and moved them to our guest room, where she has been sleeping ever since (it has been a week). She claimed it was because I obviously needed my space, but I told her that I did not want or need that and I did not ask her to sleep in the guest room. I’ve politely suggested she should move back in several times, which always prompts an argument.

She now says that it shows how much I don’t care that I let my fiance sleep on the floor while I’m in our bed. We have two guest bedrooms, one with a full queen bed and another with a twin on the ground. She decided to sleep on the twin because I bought the Queen and she doesn’t want to sleep in “my” extra bed.

Anyways, I still hate these gestures and forms of argument. She keeps claiming that I’m the one who put her in this position, but I never asked for it and I refuse to beg her to come back to our bedroom out of principle since I find this mode of argument offensive and disrespectful. She keeps telling me she knows how I feel about things before I even have a chance to express my feelings, and doesn’t believe me when I tell her when her attempts at of mind reading are completely and utterly wrong (generally about 50% of the time).

In general, my fiance has seemed less and less responsive to any form of mature argument. She argues her position with vitriol for many minutes at a time and immediately disregards my rarely expressed viewpoints if they are contrary to her own. In the past couple of weeks I’ve been called wicked, manipulative, and disrespectful. I’ve set up counseling for us, but it’s starting to feel like too little too late. I wake up every morning tired and sad. AITAH here?