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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Teraunah on 2023-08-23 23:09:16.
Hi, I 18F and my boyfriend 20M have been together for around two years and have known each other for three.
Currently I’m away from him as I am starting university in a new city this September. Meanwhile he hasn’t heard back from any apartments so he cannot move here yet.
My grandparents decided to help with my tuition this year and wrote me a cheque for a decent portion of it.
I told my boyfriend I was going to deposit my cheque at the bank but ultimately could not end up doing the deposit because of fees and the deposit wait time. So I took the cheque back to discuss a solution with my grandparents later.
Ever since I was on way home he’s been texting me bugging for a picture of the front of the cheque. I kept telling him why he wants to see the cheque and that it’s just any other normal cheque. But he said that “Oh my mind just wants to see it and I won’t be satisfied until I do.”
I offered to show a portion of it over video call but I refuse to text a picture in case my account or his gets compromised and someone takes the picture and does something with it.
Now he’s refusing to text me until he sees a picture. He refuses to do a video call to see it and only wants a picture. I don’t know why but I don’t trust putting things like this out there. I’m just trying to take some safety measures.
He’s never been so nosey over a piece of money before. I told him it’s my check and I can do what I want with it. But he still refuses to talk.
AITA?
**Update:**
It’s been three hours and I know for a fact he is off work but he still hasn’t texted. I’m not going to reply or say anything or start conversation. It’s simply childish at this point. Thanks all for the advice and I wasn’t going to show the cheque under any circumstances. If anything else comes up I’ll keep you guys updated.
***Update 2:*** Okay so he’s replied like 4 minutes after I posted that first update.
He sent a picture of an example of a cheque and coloured out the numbers on the bottom. And told me to “Send it like this”.
After that he sent a text a blob of text, “I’m that type of person to repeat words until I get it. Even if it’s years n I wouldn’t care about it anymore but I will get it eventually then get rid of it after the sight.”
Anyway I’m not going to reply for a bit until I can think of an appropriate response. I’m currently not in the headspace for it. Honestly not surprised he’s still dragging it on.
***Why did I choose to date this guy?*** Well, I will start off saying that I don’t have good parents. I had a tough upbringing, I have anxiety and I’m not sure what else. When I was 14, we moved to an isolated fly-in community in the arctic. Population 150. This made it worse because I was stuck with my family 24-7.
Basically I was severely depressed when we first moved there, because I was constantly stuck under my parents. My mental health was so bad because I was stuck at home. I told people, and they did nothing.
So, when I met my boyfriend and began to go to his house, it was basically 100% better than the situation at home. I basically went to his house every day to escape the situation at home. They even offered me to move in with them.
His parents treated me well. I ate and never got yelled at. And basically that was my routine until I recently moved away from that community. To me, being with him was way better than being around my parents. So I guess I’m only now realizing what’s wrong because I have my own bearings now.
While I adore his parents, and all they’ve done for me, especially his mother, I now can’t see myself making it work with him specifically.