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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MarionberryThis6633 on 2023-08-23 22:43:34.

I (f21) love fall. Now that’s it’s getting close to September, I’ve pulled out the fall decorations and candles and am getting ready. Something I’ve always done during this time of year is make a mixture of nutmeg, apple, cinnamon, and pumpkin spice in water, and boil it on the stove. It makes the house smell amazing, works like a humidifier, and puts me in the spirit of my favorite season.

My MIL(f49) is deathly allergic to cinnamon. To the point where she can’t go Christmas shopping in person because of the cinnamon scented candles, sprays, and wallflowers that are out at that time. Any time she’s coming over, I always make sure that I don’t burn any of my candles that are cinnamon scented, and if I’ve boiled the mixture or burnt one recently, I open the windows to air out our apartment.

My husband had left for work not too long ago, so I decided to put a mixture on the stove while I was cleaning. After it had already been boiling for a while, I heard a knock at the door. My MIL had dropped by unannounced. When I opened the door I stepped outside as I thought that she might have needed something, or was dropping something off since she didn’t say anything about coming by and my husband was already gone. She asked why I hadn’t let her in and that she wanted to hang out for a bit. I explained to her that since I wasn’t aware of her coming, I had started boiling cinnamon to make the house smell nice, and that I didn’t want her to come in as I was worried it might make her react.

Her face dropped and she looked furious. She told me that I shouldn’t be doing that and shouldn’t even really own cinnamon scented candles because I know it can make her sick. I told her that I always make sure those things are put away or have not been used when she’s here, but I wasn’t aware of her coming. She just rolled her eyes and began to walk away. Before getting to the stairs, she turned back to look at me and said that it is extremely inconsiderate and rude that I would be willing to risk her having an allergic reaction just because I like the smell.

Am I the asshole?