J.D. Vance’s weird, anti-woke punchline fell flat at his own sleepy speaking event on Monday.
Vance held a rally at his former high school in Middletown, Ohio, where hundreds gathered to hear the missives of Donald Trump’s newly-minted vice presidential candidate. But, even as a hometown hero, the Ohio senator suffered some brutally awkward moments.
“It is the weirdest thing to me: Democrats say that it is racist to believe—well, they say it’s racist to do anything,” said Vance. “I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.
So far he’s got the charisma of a soap dish.
That’s more than Mike Pence ever managed.
He truly is Trump’s successor, rambling about incoherent nonsense is a staple of a Trump rally. My favorite has to be his many rants about toilets not flushing.
Like Vance’s quip about diet soda, this approach to criticism seems to stem from having absolutely nothing of substance to say about a subject, but giving it their best shot anyway.
Overall, the Republican’s performance was so underwhelming that even Fox News stopped airing coverage of Vance’s speech in the middle of his remarks.
oh that is funny!
Ew he drank DIET? Is he some weird LEFTY MARXIST COMMUINIST? Real Americans have FULL SUGAR
Americans 👏 consume 👏 high 👏 fructose 👏 corn 👏 syrup
My taxes subsidized all that corn, I gotta get my money’s worth!!
Diet Mountain Dew tastes like absolute trash. It’s like they just replaced the pound of sugar in each bottle with an equal amount of bitter aspartame with no other recipe adjustments.
and if its only 1 soda a day, just drink the regular one ya fucking loon. Vance is younger than me, I don’t drink soda very often, and when I do enjoy a regular Mt Dew. Stuff is fuckin good!
that’s hexabear for you
LOL he wrote a whole book blaming uneducated southern bumpkins for their own generations-long problems, so now he’s trying to win back the ones who hate his wife but are going to vote R anyway. because of course they guzzle mountain dew by the 5gal bucketload
1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life’s work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades
1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life’s work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades
Leaded gasoline is my guess. We put so much brain damaging shit into the air that decent portions of a couple generations have mental issues like this.
A good percentage of the current republican politicians are too young to have directly had their brains damaged by that, but their parents and the constituents they’re trying to woo all had the damage, so it’s likely either they were traumatized by their parents or they’re just being stupid to seem more relatable to the constituents.
Diet Dr. Trump, brought to you by Pepsi.
Yes, Mr. Pibb would be better than implying Trump is in any way smart enough to be a doctor, but I think lacks the meme power of Dr. Pepper.
Mr PAB.
Phat Ass Bitch?
Pedos and Betas?
Honestly surprised he hasn’t tried to sell a soda yet
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho enters the race
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was several orders of magnitude a better president than any of these chucklefucks could ever hope to be. He saw his country had a problem he didn’t know how to solve so he found the smartest person he could, asked him what to do, and then did it even when it sounded crazy to him and his entire cabinet. We would all be a lot better off if we had more presidents like Camacho and less like Trump.
While those are all excellent points, you’re kinda leaving out the point where he ordered his secretary of the interior publicly executed for not solving a multitude of seemingly impossible problems fast enough…
That’s more of a Trump cult kind of thing.
I mean, he was a moron. He ordered him executed because he thought everything he had suggested failed and it caused a major problem (he tanked the value of Brawndo leading to an economic collapse), not realizing they just needed to wait a little longer to see the results. He was very short sighted, but he at least tried to do the right thing. He also pardoned him as soon as he was shown evidence that the problem had been solved.
“They keep saying I’m a racist no matter which soda I drink! It’s almost as if their opinion of me has some other basis altogether.”
As he started defending diet mt dew, I knew he was unelectable. Massive miscalculation Vance.
I’ve joked for years drinking diet mnt dew on purpose is a cry for help. This only confirms my position.
Sleepy J
But has it got what plants crave? Electrolytes?
Vance is Palin … but without the fashion sense
Vance IS a “weird, anti-woke punchline” to a joke setup that the vast majority of people are sick and tired of.
It’s a GOP plot to reduce sugar intake among its most overweight and pre-diabetic supporters.
What a fucking weirdo.
Worst VP pick since Palin. He presents as your smartass alt right troll cousin that you think about skipping Thanksgiving to avoid, and his only real appeal is speaking out against the “elites,” who were all inconveniently in the list of his personal contacts that were accessible to the public because the RNC forgot to set his Venmo to private while “vetting” their VP pick.
It’s a clown show. The MAGA camp thought they had it in the bag for a few weeks and made some incredibly stupid, sloppy decisions.
