I go with my gf to her grandmas lake house every year, and while its relaxing and fun, I absolutely notice a change in her demeanor, I find I have to walk on eggshells around her and every other thing I say or do seems to be wrong and warrants nagging. I have confronted her about this but she seems to deny any change in behaviour is happening and just retorts with “well I told you xxx!”

Obviously her family is stressing her out but it kills me that she won’t acknowledge that, especially since I’m such a straightforward person who likes to discuss what’s going on. And that shes such a family girl on top of that. I’m planning on marrying her but i m just not sure how to discuss this particular point of contention with her first, because it’s one of the few things she’ll get actually defensive about

  • ditty@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    Family stuff like this is often tricky. If you’re going to start a conversation about it, I would frame it as you want to put your best foot forward and come across the way she wants you to, and that you’re looking for clarification on how to best do that. I would write down a few specific examples in advance that you can point to while unpacking them together so you can avoid generalizations which would just derail the conversation and start a fight.

    Stay far away from the word nagging lol 😂

    Good luck! 🤞

    • yokonzo@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      Yeah you make a point, ill frame this as “I really am not sure how you want me to act around your family”