As a starter, I don’t even know my ethnicity. My dad was adopted, my mom’s dad was adopted, my mom’s mother is from a family which migrated from another country and I have relatives in different countries and myself haven’t lived on the patch of land where I crawled out of my mother’s vagina, nor do I speak their language well. I’m so fucking tired of xenophobia. I even experience racism based on the country I was born in (Poland), because north-westerners (saying westerners is inaccurate, because the term doesn’t apply to western African countries nor Latin America) see Slavic nations as subhuman. North-westerners love to ask where you’re from and build your persona around it, however inaccurate it may be and explaining my background without it being very relevant is a hassle and breeds intrusive questions.

Everywhere is so fucking xenophobic and racist (based on ethnicity included, no idea what the word is). I’m so fucking tired of this. I met a cute guy. He was born in Germany, so were his parents. His English isn’t even good, his main language is German and he doesn’t speak else. Germans see him as an immigrant, I shit you not. He also has an identity crisis where he’s convinced he’s an immigrant AND a local because of this. He’s just a local, but the racists fried his brain. I swear Germans are the most xenophobic and racist nation I’ve ever interacted with, but at the same time they’re convinced they’re very much not xenophobic nor racist WHILE openly speaking of “ethnical Germans” and how only said group is real Germans and how any racism in Germany must be done by anyone but “ethnical Germans” (because obviously they cannot do any wrong). And no, it’s not different people. It’s the same people. It’s so fucking maddening. Some turd of a person expressed how immigrants from southern-eastern nations shouldn’t be surprised their degrees don’t get recognized implying south-eastern degrees have no standards to be obtained and therefore shouldn’t be recognized. I hate how fucking far north-westerners are up own arses while continously proving how on average they are culturally, morally and intelectually bankrupt in comparison to south-easterners.

One may ask why I’m here, which is fair. I’m very visibly queer and my life sadly isn’t safe in some south-eastern regions and I’m not capable of hiding my true self to be able to be a functional member of the society there. Furthermore, my lovely stay in Ireland resulted in 10 years of substenantial medical debt, because I had preexisting condition which the insurance doesn’t cover unless you’re with them for multiple years and then they only cover some with a surgeon of their choice (expensive). I don’t even want to go into it. Healthcare in Europe is shit and I’m still fighting not to live in physical pain to be able to walk whenever I want.

Oh, btw. I was refused from many doctors who said they didn’t accept new patients. Ok! Makes sense! I tried getting a haircut and got told the same by the hairdressers. Not that they had no slots for now and they could schedule me for a future date, no. Literally the same thing, but patients changed to customers. And that was it. I cannot even get a fucking haircut.