Learning implies change. To live implies change. Change is the only constant. Therefore, instead of fighting it, we should embrace it.
What experiences have you had with change?
I’ll start:
As I’ve become more politically aware, I’ve become less and less willing to do hard work. I now do only what is asked of me, and no more. It started as a response to the inherent exploitation we are forced to participate, but it creeped into my own personal life. I have become “lazy”, as I’ve become less and less engaged in my own personal projects. And while I tend to antagonize this part of myself, I’ve recently learned to be compassionate. I’m now slowly realizing how much I overworked myself, and how toxic my relationship to work was. I’m slowly enjoying life a bit more every day, and even though I feel like I’m going “slower”, I no longer think that’s necessarily a bad thing. It’s ok to smell the roses sometimes.
There is still a sour feeling in me of how much more I would be willing to do if the result of such work benefited society directly. But I can’t just will a different economic system into existence, so I need to learn to let go. We need to pick and choose our battles.
I don’t beat myself up (sometimes literally) like I used to. The part of me that wants to destroy me has moved on to more subtle and cunning means of self sabotage.