I never knew how to engage with kids once I no longer considered myself one, but now that I have kids, it’s like they have wiped that from my brain and I can’t imagine what it’s like to not want to engage with kids. I think that it’s a mixed bag in terms of “Are kids treated like humans”. There are a lot of people who are still holding onto the notions they were subjected to growing up:

• Kids should be seen and not heard.
• Kids should have respect for adults. (which is almost always code for obedience, not respect)
• “My house, My Rules” aka Authoritarian Centered Parenting.
• Illogical or disproportionate punishment for breach of “the rules”.

It seems to me that these “traditional” values in regard to parenting lead to a deficit in trust between parent and child, the child becomes more adept at subterfuge as they attempt to skirt the more illogical rules, and instills a kind of adversarial relationship between the parent and child. Rules like “Don’t wear your hat at a restaurant” followed up with “Because I said so” or “Because I’m your Parent and what I say goes” are just the codification of preferences both personal and learned into arbitrary rules. Naturally, when you point out how nonsensical it is, you’re met with “That’s how my parents were and I turned out fine!”. Are_You_Sure_About_That.mp4

Kids are wiser than you think, and if you explain to them why you’re asking them to do something, they’ll usually get it. Obviously, that depends on their age. One thing I’ve learned from experience with my toddler is that, if you talk too fast or repeat yourself too quickly or expect them to respond instantly to a question or demand, you’re going to have a bad time. They need time to process what you’re saying because they’re still learning how to process language. Usually, if something is pressing or they’re just not listening, you can just redirect them. I’ve never had this become a huge fight so far. Usually I ask twice, and if that doesn’t work, I guide them to the thing we’re doing now, and that kind of direction they seem to just get. Do I get the odd tantrum, sure, but that’s to be expected. I tend to make sure to loop back after the tantrum and try to empathize and explain what the request was and why. Sometimes, the tantrum is just illogical and you have to just accept that.

To be clear. I’m only synthesizing my own experiences along with the experiences of other parents either personally or online. Some people take their childhood as a blueprint for their parenthood, and others have reflected on their childhood and make attempts to have it not be the blueprint for their parenthood. I want to be as communicative and empathetic with my kids as I can, and to actually hear them when they express how they feel. I know that was something I needed growing up, and I know they’ll need it too.

In terms of our social systems and structures surrounding kids, definitely not Humans by any stretch. America is the only nation in the UN that has signed but not ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child. While the US played an active role in drafting this bill of child rights, they still have not ratified it. Doing so would require them to completely unearth and rebuild child welfare within their legal system. The primary opponents of these rights are, unsurprisingly, political and religious conservatives such as The Heritage Foundation and the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA). The Heritage Foundation believes that “a civil society in which moral authority is exercised by religious congregations, family, and other private associations is fundamental to the American order” while the HSLDA argues that ratifying these rights would threaten homeschooling in America.

In the majority of US States Corporal Punishment is legal under statues making exceptions to the states law regarding crimes of assault, criminal battery, domestic violence, sexual assault, sexual abuse or child abuse. Exceptions to these laws make it nearly impossible to charge a legal guardian of a child with a crime when certain actions are applied to that child. This extends into the public school system, where 17 states still allow for Corporal Punishment as a form of discipline within their public school systems. The practice was deemed “constitutional” by the Supreme Court in 1977. The Court held that the “cruel and unusual punishments” clause of the Eighth Amendment only applied to the treatment of prisoners convicted of a crime. Which, naturally we understand to be pure hypocrisy when you consider how often solitary confinement is used in the American prison system, and how universally accepted it is that solitary confinement is a horrific, life altering, inhumane experience.

You can read all the articles of the Convention on the Rights of the Child here: https://www.ohchr.org/en/instruments-mechanisms/instruments/convention-rights-child

There are countless examples of children being objected to utterly horrific state violence, from the cartoonishly evil such as being arrested for not using the potty, to the systematically evil conditions within the foster care system: “According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in 2018, 62% of children placed in foster care were removed from their homes due to abusive neglect, totaling over 160,000 children.”. Then consider that states are actively fighting against universal free lunch programs in schools, and that the federal government failed to make permanent the temporary expansion of the child tax credit during covid which brought food insecurity in households with children to a two decade low.

For as much as the reactionaries talk about family values in America, it’s clear through their policies and actions that they have no intention of treating kids as anything other than property.