I have an issue where I push too hard to be equal in all things. This leads to me asking to reciprocate oral sex when it is offered even when my partner just wants to give but not receive.
It leads to her being upset that I don’t just want a blowjob. I do very much want and enjoy the blowjob but I feel bad in just taking.
Overall when we have sex it is amazing and I definitely take care of her needs but when oral is offered my responses are viewed as being less than 100% satisfied with the offer.
We have discussed it and I know I shouldn’t look a gift blowjob in the mouth but I can’t stop myself sometimes. How should I discuss or just shut myself up in my brain and just accept things don’t always have to be tit for tat?
Okay, so are you offering to go down on her as soon as she offers you a blow job? Or while she’s in the middle of giving you one? If yes to either of those, I could see how she might get the idea that you don’t enjoy her efforts.
If you haven’t tried this yet, I’d keep the offer to yourself until she completes the blow job. Express how amazing it was and how good it felt, and then say it felt so good that you want her to feel good too and offer to eat her out at that point. Don’t even mention it prior to that. This way, she can’t mistake your eagerness for equality as anything but that.