Sandra Newman @sannewman
THE SEVEN SECRETS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
- Private school
- Legacy lvy admission
- Nepotism hire
- Seed capital from family
- Club memberships
- Personal assistant, nanny, ghost writer answer
- Journalists who ask, “What’s your secret?” and uncritically publish the
I really hope my student loan debt gets the memo that it was supposed to make me wealthy.
Education was the best decision I’ve ever made for myself (because there’s so much more value to education than just a career/future paycheck), but I went into it knowing that the trade off would be decades of financial sacrifice and probably hardship. The hope is that it would get me a middle to upper middle class salary, but I’m not sure anyone anticipates higher education to be even one of many keys to real financial success.
It really sucks that marriage is now a financial necessity in the US. Some of us are ace/aro and will never get married or live with a partner. But even for those who aren’t, if someone wants to be single or just not move in with their partner, then they should be able to have that choice. I have no idea how I will ever live alone. The thought of living with roommates for the rest of my life turns my stomach. Introverts and neurodivergents should also be able to live in a situation that works for us. One of the worst parts of the housing crisis is compromising what makes a house a home - security, comfort, having your own space. It should be more than just paying to be indoors and having to live in uncomfortable, shady situations just to make that happen.
I hope this is a joke. What a sad way to look at life if not.
Most people misunderstood this. I meant foundational education, not higher education. My wife and I knew that we needed a degree because nobody would hire us with only a highschool diploma. We also could only afford a rural state university because after scholarships and grants it was almost free, and free is basically all we could afford. It was also understood that our degrees would get us absolutely nothing (worthless in almost all sense of the word). Because we had strong foundational education, we were able to absorb and process, and because we knew the degree would be worthless we taught ourselves other skills. So by the time we graduated I already had a fledgling PC and network support business (which led to my first corporate job) and my wife was well on her way towards being able to have enough skill to work on databases including based, SQL Server, and Oracle. None of this is what we wanted as a career but if was something we figured would feed us.
Context is important here. I was an orphan at 16 and wife’s parents live in a poor eastern European nation. We literally had no support structure and no safety net. I don’t know if it is necessary for everyone, but it was for us.
Not a joke nor do I romanticize it. We shouldn’t need to feel like there’s a gun to our head or that we are under the master’s whip at all times in order to do our best. I’m my case and my life experience, I can’t help but love in constant fear that I could be destitute at any moment if I stop trying so hard. I don’t know if that’s sad or not because that’s all I’ve known since my mother died, but the results are clear. When my friends and colleagues quit or took a break, I didn’t. When my friends felt comfortable in their cushy jobs, I quit and took a harder job I was not fully qualified for (I lied my way in) and trusted the fact that I could teach myself how to do it before anyone figured out I couldn’t. When my career peaked, I quit and started my own business, then another, then another, etc. I’m not smart. I’m not brave. I’m terrified that at any moment I won’t be able to work anymore and I’ll have to live off of what I’ve made so far until the day I die, and I’m not sure it’s enough. Trauma is real, and I understand that’s what I’ve got, but the results speak for themselves. Fear and hunger are great motivators.