• CommissarVulpin@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    When I started interacting with a non-binary person more often, the only reflexive pronoun that came to mind was ‘themselves.’ As in, “They bought themselves a pair of socks for their birthday.” It felt a bit awkward since I couldn’t shake the plural association in my head, but I still used it to be respectful.

    Then I remembered that the word ‘themself’ exists and I felt stupid.

    • lugal@sopuli.xyz
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      2 hours ago

      That’s something I wonder about as a non native speaker: it’s singular they but verbs are still plural (they are, not *they is, they comes). Maybe this will change some day, maybe not. Singular s might die out anyway or maybe because of singular they.

  • samus12345@lemm.ee
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    2 hours ago

    In “who left their bag here”'s case, the gender of the person is not known because their identity isn’t known, so it doesn’t feel strange to use (for us old farts). It can take some effort to retrain your brain to use “they” when it’s a single person whose identity is known (speaking from experience as a Gen Xer).

    Or the person might just be a transphobic asshole. But I like to think that most just need to educate themselves on using pronouns correctly.

  • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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    2 hours ago

    Someone correct me, but “you” was originally plural. The correct way to address a singular person is “thou”.

  • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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    47 minutes ago

    Calling people what they ask to be called just doesn’t have to be this difficult.

    And yes, his royal lordship Starn, the majestic, that goes for you, too. It’s fine. We’re cool with your chosen name. And I admit, the opera cape absolutely works for you.

    And I don’t need to know what genitalia most other people are rocking. That’s none of my business, unless we’re really into each-other, in a very intimate way.

    It takes all my willpower not to be get pretty inappropriate every time a government form asks my birth sex:

    “Oh! We just met at this office of motor vehicles…I didn’t know you felt that way about me! This is so much to process. I admit there’s a mutual attraction. Of course I feel it too. I’m delighted that you had a special form made up to ask! I’m flattered! Want to grab dinner, and see where this goes?”

  • CarrotsHaveEars@lemmy.ml
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    2 hours ago

    Dear native English speakers, would you mind inventing a new word either for gender-neutral third-person singular pronoun, or one for what “they” mean to foreign English speakers since you are so insisted in differing its meaning from the text books you shipped us decades ago?

    English is so inconsistent at this point. Only the third-person pronouns have gender in singular form, the plural form has no gender and now you are telling us the gender-less form can be singular now? How confusing!

    English is widespread partly because it has simple alphabet and relatively easy grammar. I don’t mind someone being in LGBT+ group at all, but could you please don’t mess with the language?

    • samus12345@lemm.ee
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      2 hours ago

      As the comic shows, “they” (“their,” in this case) was already used as a singular when the gender was unknown. The only change is it’s now also used if the person’s gender is known and isn’t “he” or “she.”

  • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    I get irked when someone says “he or she,” especially repeatedly, because the singular “they” is so much easier to hear and read.

  • Vipsu@lemmy.world
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    3 hours ago

    In Finnish language there are no gender specific pronouns only gender neutral one hän/hänen.

    They/them still sounds weird to use even if I know it can be used to refer single person. When talking or writing fast I’ll still often accidentally default to using he/him even for females which I then have to correct.

    • devfuuu@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      In my language everything little word is gendered so everything you talk about is bound by it. It’s extremely confusing thinking or understanding how to describe something in terms “non-gendered”.

      I really am supportive of all the changes needed in the world, but the use of “they” is very confusing in a singular form for people who don’t have it as first language and concepts and everything was learned by mapping stuff to other language, so please invent some word for it and go with it. It’s already strange and always difficult understanding the usage of “you” in singular vs plural and formal or not speech.

      I really wish my language also had gender neutral pronouns, it just sound so much simpler and better.

    • fjordbasa@lemmy.world
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      4 hours ago

      Not complaining or calling it out but I’ve seen the words in the 2nd applied to sooo many different comics. I think that’s actually kind of great that it’s so flexible 😆

  • Skua@kbin.earth
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    4 hours ago

    Roses are red Violets are blue The singular “they” Pre-dates singular “you”

      • Skua@kbin.earth
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        2 hours ago

        By chance I actually do come from an area that uses it! Although it’s more of a “yiz” here

    • jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de
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      4 hours ago

      Thou shalt use proper pronouns and not be lazy recycling plural pronouns in the singular. What next, are thou planing to use a singular “we” like inbred royalty?

  • Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee
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    5 hours ago

    I remember as a kid the teachers were desperately trying to make “he or she” a thing and told us the singular “they” would never be acceptable.

    I’m personally glad that movement failed.

    • stinky@redlemmy.com
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      4 hours ago

      looking back, some of my educators were monumentally stupid

      OVERSHARING TIME

      My body doesn’t burp; when I drink something carbonated I have to physically gag myself with something to get the air out. When I was a kid I didn’t know this and would get pain in my stomach and didn’t understand why.

      Coke with my lunch two days in a row resulted in trips to my home room teacher to ask to see the nurse, or go home. My home room teacher crossed her arms and said, “this is the second day in a row you’ve done this to us,” and lectured me about trying to get out of class. I had no way of proving that I was actually in pain. I was angry and scared and couldn’t do anything about it. Do not give me the keys to the time machine or there will be violence.

      • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        I had this exact same problem growing up. When I started drinking excessive amounts of beer the pressure became enough to break through, and I finally started burping. That somehow fixed my body completely, and I’ve been able to burp normally ever since, but my God I’ll never forget the pain of being unable to burp. Literally the worst pain of my life

          • JellyfishGalaxy@lemmy.ca
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            1 hour ago

            Hey I remember a Hank Green video about this. I suffer from time to time with not being able to burp either, so I tried to remember this. Basically, botox injections are found to help for not burping, I think a specific variety, where a muscle is not working right. I think it’s more in the testing phase, but maybe, you too could burp someday!

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        I had a math teacher that was there to coach football… instead of the normal method for balancing equations and such he’d insist you use his wonky play call diagrams.

        Which made all the other algebra and trig teachers have re-teach kids coming out of his last class.

        Dude was a stereotypical jock that was going to give one of his athletes a free pass for stuffing a friend of mine into a locker. At least until i stuffed the tight end in his locker, instead.

        So. How about this. We swap the keys and go all strangers on a train?

    • lugal@sopuli.xyz
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      4 hours ago

      I learned English at school and the first time I encountered singular they was when my teacher explained it to us. Sometimes non native speakers are less prescriptive than native speakers

    • samus12345@lemm.ee
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      2 hours ago

      So you’re going to refer to John by John’s name exclusively? Sounds a bit awkward, but okay.

      • MajorHavoc@programming.dev
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        54 minutes ago

        I’m tired of calling John, John, every time I refer to Join, but I wasn’t paying attention to John’s pronouns, so now I’m stuck until I have a chance to ask John, when I next see John.

        Source: I’ve done this, actually. I hope I was more subtle.

        • Jackthelad@lemmy.world
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          17 minutes ago

          Remember when we just conversed like human beings and didn’t have all this convoluted nonsense about worrying over pronouns?

          If the person is called John, 99.9% of the time, you know what the pronouns would be, because not everyone is terminally online.

  • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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    2 hours ago

    These people don’t care if it’s grammatically correct. They just don’t like trans people.

  • Pistcow@lemm.ee
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    4 hours ago

    Ok, hear me out, super supportive, but I had an issue when a friend’s husband wanted me to use “their.”

    • ShareMySims@sh.itjust.works
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      3 hours ago

      So you’re not, in fact, “super supportive” at all then, are you, and are not, in fact, worth hearing out… 🙄

    • Jackthelad@lemmy.world
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      3 hours ago

      Don’t use it then.

      The only time you would ever need to use someone’s pronouns is when they’re not part of the conversation anyway.

      I couldn’t care less what people refer to me as if I’m not there.

      • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        “I was with Dan the other day. They forgot their keys at home. They said they had to go back to get them.”

        Literally not hard at all?

      • kinsnik@lemmy.world
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        3 hours ago

        The only time you would ever need to use someone’s pronouns is when they’re not part of the conversation anyway.

        no? it would be weird to use in a one-on-one conversation, true. but it is fairly common to use the third person pronoun of someone during a group conversation, even while they are there

        • Jackthelad@lemmy.world
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          2 hours ago

          I don’t do this, and growing up was taught that it was rude to refer to someone by anything other than their name in a group conversation.